Traditions & Superstitions~The Men

On this edition of Traditions & Superstitions we are going to talk about men! Their attire, groomsmen, & even the boys.

• The word bridegroom is from the 17th century, It is from the word bride and the archaic goom, from Old English guma, "boy"



• A Groom usually has a best man and groomsmen.



• What the groom wears depends upon the time of day, the location of the ceremony, the style in which the ceremony is performed, and whether or not the groom is a member of the armed forces.



• In most parts of the world, active-duty members of the military and some law enforcement agencies wear their military uniforms instead of civilian clothing.



• In the US, the groom usually wears a dark-coloured suit during the day or tuxedo in the evening



• In the united Kingdom, the groom, male ushers and close male family to wear morning suits.



• We call the male attendants groomsman in the US and usher in the UK



• Groomsmen used to be called bride-knights. They were there to help the groom capture his bride.



• Nowadays the help the groom plan his bachelor party, assist with the gifts, they might even help decorate the get-away car.



• Men might be asked to be ushers without being in the wedding ceremony. To help with the seating of guests during the ceremony



• For a military officer's wedding, they have swordsmen of the sword honor guard. .



• Swordsmen form the traditional saber arch for the married couple and guests to walk through



• The Best man is the chief male assistant to the bridegroom at a wedding.



• If the groom chooses a woman she could be either Best Woman or Honor Attendant



• A Best man's duties are to assist the groom on the wedding day, keep the wedding rings safe until needed during the ceremony, act as a legal witness to the marriage, and
  make the first toast to the bride and groom at the reception.



• A page boy is a young male attendant at a wedding. Traditionally, page boys carried the bride's train, especially if it was a long train. Page boys are generally no younger than age seven.



• In a formal wedding, the ring bearer is a special page who carries the wedding rings for the bridal party.



• The ring bearer as a separate role is a fairly modern. If you don't have one, the best man carries the rings.
  

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  Traditionally the bride stands to the left of the groom. That way his right arm is free to fend off attackers and use his sword.
  

The Tuxedo

There are a couple of differnt stories about the origins of the tuxedo.

The first one is about Pierre Lorillard. His family were wealthy tobacco magnates who owned country property in Tuxedo Park, just outside of New York City. At a formal ball, held at the Tuxedo Club in October 1886, Pierre Lorillard made a new style of formal wear for men. He cut the tails off of a black jacket, like the jackets worn for a fox hunt. He decided not to wear it, but his son Griswold and his friends did. He decided to name his tailless black jacket the tuxedo after Tuxedo Park. The tuxedo caught on and became fashionable as formal wear for men.

The other story is about a resident of Tuxedo Park, James Brown Potter, he was vacationing in England in the summer of 1886. James and his wife, Cora were introduced to the Prince of Wales at a ball in London. Potter asked the Prince for advice on formal dress. The Prince sent him to his tailor on Saville Row, Henry Poole & Co. Potter was then fitted with a short black jacket and black tie. At the time formal tails with white tie that was worn in the United States for formal occasions. This new tailless formal wear was said to have been designed by the Prince of Wales. The Prince and his tailor drew inspiration from the British military uniforms of the time, which used short jackets with black ties.

The two stories come together in Tuxedo Park where James Brown Potter brought the design back, then Pierre Lorillard modified it, named it, and his son made it popular during the Autumn ball. So that is why you probably will be wearing a tuxedo instead of formal tails.

Happy Reading,

The photo of Pierce Bronsan as James Bond is courtesy of the BBC. I personally think nobody where's a tux like him! Mr. Joyeux is a close second! Although, I have never seen him in a black tux. His was silver for our wedding.

Traditions & Superstitions-Pre-Wedding Parties

Photo courtesy of The Hostess with the Mostess.

This month's edition is about all the Pre-Wedding Parties.

Engagement Party

• Traditionally it is hosted by the Bride's parents about a month or two after the announcement.
• Any one can host it now.
• It can be as formal or informal as you want.
• Sometimes guests will bring gifts but not everybody will.

Bridal Shower

• To shower the Bride with love and good wishes.
• Traditionally they were hosted by the Maid of Honor.
• It is an alternative to the dowry/trousseau (the money, goods, or estate that the woman brings to her marriage).
• There is the Dutch story of a young maiden who loved a young miller. The miller was so generous to others that he didn't save up money for himself. Since the miller was not rich, the maiden's father disapproved and refused to give her a dowry. The whole town loved the couple so they decided to give the girl a dowry by giving her something of theirs. With these items they 'showered' the maiden.
• During the Victorian Era family and friends would put small gifts into a parasol and then pore them over the brides' head.
• They started here in the US in the late 1800's, with the upper middle class.
• By the 1930's people were giving bridal showers all across the US.
• One of the earliest reports of the new tradition is in the Grand Rapids Michigan Evening Press 22 on June 4, 1904: "The ‘shower parties’ that through mistaken hospitality the wedded couple are forced to attend..."
• A shower emphasizes traditional gender roles.
• In an etiquette guide from the 1920's it said that showers should be "purely spontaneous and informal", with guests arriving unannounced at the bride-to-be's home.
• During the 1950's they started to be more complex with themes and games.
• Friendship and support is at the center of the bridal shower tradition.
• Showers are meant to be an outpouring from the community.
• They are not usually arranged or hosted by the brides immediate relatives.
• Sunday afternoon is the traditional time for a bridal shower.
• Registry information wasn't usually included in the invitation. Although, we usually put it into a shower invitation now.
• Nowadays it is common to have couples shower's so everybody can participate.
• Was the only pre-wedding party for a woman.

The Bachelor Party { Stag, Bull's or Buck's}

• It is thought that the Bachelor Party originated in Sparta around 5 BC. Soldiers would toast and pay homage to the groom on his last night of being a single man.
• It is usually thrown by the Best Man or the groom's brothers.
• The party usually involves drinking, going to strip club or hiring a stripper and gambling.
• Sometimes they involved hazing and pranks towards the groom.
• It is a rite of passage for a man from being an bachelor (adolescent lifestyle) to a more responsible married adult.
• Historically, it was held the night before the wedding. Although, in recent times it is held well in advance of the wedding day.

Bachelorette Party{Hen Party or Stagette}

• The bachelorette party is modeled after the centuries-old bachelor's party.
• In its modern form, it is thought that the bachelorette party may have begun during the sexual revolution of the 1960's.
• From the 60's to the 80's women just went out for drinks after the shower.
• It wasn't that common till the mid-1980's.
• The first book on planning bachelorette parties wasn't published until 1998.
• Its cultural significance is largely tied to concepts of gender equality.
• A bachelorette party is an expression of social and sexual freedom.
• Initially, woman would attend male revues, asking strangers intimate questions, or just got drunk.
• Destination weekends are becoming more popular for both the men and the women to celebrate the end of their singlehood.

Bridesmaids Luncheon or Tea

• The bride hosts this.
• It is to thank the bridesmaids for all their help during the wedding planning process.
• Usually held a few days before the wedding.
• A girls only affair.
• A classy event.

Rehearsal Dinner

• Tradtionally hosted by the groom's parents.
• It should be after the ceremony rehearsal.
• Normally, it is held the night before the wedding. Sometimes 2 days before.
• It can be as formal or as casual as you want.
• All parents and the bridal party attend with their significant others.
• You can include your out-of-town guests.

Happy Planning,